I wrote a humor article for the April fools day issue of my paper--apparently these don't get put online, which is too bad because mine came with a really amazing illustration! (not by me, but I wish.) Anyway, I figured I'd put it here. All day (before I knew that the Jack Issue was out) people would tell me really enthusiasticly that they liked my article. I thought they were referring to this one, which I didn't think was that exciting. Then I figured out they were talking about this one. So, without further adieu...

Resident Ducks Rally Against "Lakeum Gooseum"

For the ducks of Lakum Duckum, a bird in hand is not worth two in the bush—especially when the hand is their lake and the bush is Canada.

This spring, Lakum Duckum has seen much greater numbers of migrating Canada Geese. Resident ducks have raised quite a ruckus about their opposition to the new residents of Lakum Duckum, going so far as to hold a protest march all the way across Boyer ave, while passing cars stopped to let them pass.

“Quack,” says a resident Mallard, expressing his frustrations as a resident. “It’s Lakeum DUCKum, not lakeum GOOSEum.*”

Another Mallard stated curtly that she felt these geese have no rights to the pleasantly heated pond if they are not citizens.

“Quack quack,” she said.

The Geese, native Canadians who came to Walla Walla for the relative lack of snow, take the harsh commentary like water off a duck’s back, or in this case, a goose’s back.

“Honk,” said a Canada Goose as she stood on the path near the lake. She said that what drove her to risk migrating to Walla Walla was a hope of a warmer future for her goslings. She feels that the ducks would probably agree with her values if they would only shut their beaks and listen.

A Canadian gander states that he just wants to be able to feed his family, which is difficult during the cold winter months in Canada.

“Hoonnnk,” he says, commenting on the abundant resources available around the lakum of plenty.

The ducks have articulated their fear in regards to the coming spring, when their ducklings begin to hatch, that the impressionable youth may try and befriend, or even model their behavior after the immigrant Canadian geese.

“Quack!” said one Mallard, stating his negative judgment of the character of these immigrant geese.

The Squabble has ruffled the feathers of Landscape Supervisor and Lakum Duckum Expert Bob Biles.

“I don’t understand what all the crowing is about,” said Biles. “It’s not like these  birds lack for anything… and they don’t have occupations or contribute any to the upkeep of the pond.  I don’t know why the ducks have got their feathers ruffled over ownership. If anything, I should be complaining about all of the bird shit that needs to be cleaned up.”

*Translated from duck by former U of O student Musk Ovy, who, when ther, majored in the complexities of duck lingo. 

Twittering to the future!

If there was one thing that I took away from my time at the Associated College Press convention in Seattle this past weekend, it is that I apparently cannot be a journalist without having a twitter. It is the future of journalism. Since the last time I used twitter was before college and only to get the attention of a particular nerdy boy, I didn’t really understand what the fuss was all about. However, I learned a lot about how the internet and it’s migs and megs is more than just a fad that teens use to share pictures and statements about their feelings. It is actually useful for journalists.

Don’t worry, this post is not just PR for Twitter. It was just silly how omnipresent it was at the conference. People who presented workshops and talks summed up their presentation by inviting you to tweet them if we had questions. The convention had its own self promoted hash-tag for your specific tweeting you wanted to do about the event. I have finally learned, because I am a slowpoke, is that tweeting is not just a stream of your banal thoughts (though I suppose it always can be) but tweets are intrinsically connected to active observations about real things going on. You can search your area and find out what’s happening and what people care about. It is so perfect for journalism! And… then I remember that it’s a company / internet product and I feel like a tool. And I feel too silly talking typing tweet over and over so I will stop.

Aside from all of the social media stuff, I learned a lot both about journalism and about myself this weekend. I’ll start with the stuff about myself and then sum up some key journalistic points.

As I am prone to do, I started comparing myself and my accomplishments to the other people at the conference, but more so to my Pio peers that I came to the conference with. In terms of stories I’ve written for the Pio, hardly any of them were ones I found myself… Which is why to this day my bagpipes article is my favorite, because I stumbled into it, I decided it was newsworthy and I went for it. And I have gotten fairly involved with some of my other articles I’ve been assigned. However, there are people on the staff who have written pages and pages on important, interesting , sensitive issues that they had to research in depth and really understand in order to report it effectively*. And they mattered! The whole campus was struck by these articles and they stimulated dialogue and involvement. The people on my staff are truly inspiring.  They search out things they want to know about, instead of working within what they know.

There wasn’t much at ACP that really talked about the heart of journalism; the substance and content. What is the point? Why do we do it? Should you diversify or specialize?

For me, I love journalism because I love being able to get people talking, to hear what they have to say. And, as one presenter put it, “it’s easier to talk to strangers if you’re supposed to.” Journalists can pretty much talk to anyone and remove the awkwardness by stating that it’s for an article. Talking to people and compiling compelling stories is my jam. However, I’m not sure how often profile stories make it to the front page. Everyone has things to say but it’s not always an important front page scandal.

But, another point of being a journalist is to tell it like it is. Report the facts on what’s going on. Not everything is a big scandal. Sometimes it’s nice to read about what certain people or organizations are doing to make a difference.

Also, journalists want to bring light to what they know that others don’t. Because Whitman is so small, I think we all think that we know everything that’s going on around campus. There is a general feel that Whitman is compact and knowable. The articles that pop are the ones that show us that we really don’t know as much as we thought—that this cozy campus has some tricks up its sleeve.

I think I’ll stop here for now. The Potential part two will include more musings on how to write stories, and what I think I’m missing.

M

*Here are some fabulous stories that broke this semester at the Pio.

What Happens After.

Consuming Control

Writing Their Own Perscription

PS as I look back on these articles, I see that they have faults and shortcomings, but I didn't put those together, and I don't want to add to the noise. There is a reason that more people are willing to comment and state opinions rather than produce original content.

PPS in looking for these articles I also saw some impressive, straight-forward articles about the un-glamorous but essential side of news. People want updates on what matters. fees, conventions, etc.

Also it looks like my editors take all of the best articles before we get assigned. Which is why I need to step forward with ideas.